Yesterday as I was driving home from work, I was wondering "Why am I nannying? I have a Bachelor of Arts. I was offered a position at a Christian organization that would have started a 401K for me. Why in the world did the doors open for NANNYING of all things?!" Of course, I wasn't about to voice these frustrations with anyone...how can I complain about my job when other people can't find work at all? Plus; I still get to be with kids! That's my passion....I just can't complain about that.
So as I let my frustrations fester in my head last night, I prayed about where this path was leading me. Why am I doing something I know I don't want to keep doing in the future? I guess God decided this was one of those times He would answer me almost immediately.
I wish you could have seen my face during the conversation I had with Ron (the father of the kids I nanny) when he got back to the house today. We sat down talking about the school districts I would be interested in working with after I move to San Diego. "Oceanside, Carlsbad, Del Mar, San Diego...." and on and on I rambled. When I looked up from my shoes (which I had been staring at, hoping they would give me an idea of more of the districts I had researched) I saw Ron just waiting to get a word in edge wise. He said "Well...I have a meeting with the Superintendent of the Carlsbad School District tomorrow. Why don't you email me a resume and I'll print it to take it with me. At least then your name is in the pile, and you have a foot in the door." SAY WHAT?! I must have looked like a bus hit me. That's how I felt! Seriously...he just comes home and brings up this conversation that leads to "Well why don't you just let me take all your information and personally tell the most important person in the school district about you?" Umm alright. Sure. No argument here!
I am always in awe of God, but this was an even bigger shock than usual. Not even 24 hours after I was questioning Him. Why God? Why am I here doing this job? I'm overqualified for this...I am capable of so much more than just taking care of 2 kids for a couple hours a day! He sure sliced me up a nice slice of humble pie, huh? I can just imagine Him shaking His head at me: "Have a little faith! Don't you know I'm working everything out for your good? That's a passage you've read a million times. Why haven't you taken it to heart yet?!"
Sometimes what we need is a nice slap in the face. A bold sign that we're not in control at all. God has things planned for us that are grander than anything we could imagine for ourselves. All we need is a little trust that God is way more powerful than we could ever be.
Romans 8:28 - And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
College Life
Thursday, December 4, 2014
Monday, November 17, 2014
Voluntourism
As I scrolled through my Facebook newsfeed today, I came across a link with the title "One hilarious video perfectly sums up a big problem with Western humanitarianism." Obviously, having been to Cambodia on missions twice, this caught my eye and I just had to see what it said.
These are some of the organizations I have worked with in the past, and have really enjoyed watching God move through. They each have a piece of my heart, and I hope you'll join me in supporting them as they fight their own specific battles.
Basically, this is it: Westerners keep going abroad to "help others" or "fix problems that seem easier than our own" are really just making things worse for everyone.
Wow.
Going into the Cambodia trips, we spent a lot of time talking about the reasoning behind heading into this specific mission field. That if you're signing up because you want to watch God move, or you want your heart to be touched by something you see, you're not going for the right reasons. Missions aren't about you. If your answer to a call to missions is "I want to be God's hands and feet, and help spread the gospel in any way I can whether I'm comfortable or not"....well then you're a little closer to being on the right track. We made sure to spend time focusing on our hearts being in the right place; if you're in it for yourself, you won't be effective. And ultimately, you'll bring the rest of the team down along the way.
But even so, it's hard to be in a different country trying so hard to impact other people's lives, and not want to take a selfie with the little girl that won't leave your side. Or write the Facebook post that looks something like this: "This place is changing my life! I can't wait to tell you all stories about what I'm seeing here!" I'll admit it, I was guilty of these things. Blogging about MY heart changing, but not spreading as many stories about the redemption and life changes I saw in those I came to serve. I have some pictures with kids that I loved spending time with along the way. But it's important that when we do volunteer work, it needs to be solely for the other person's gain. Not our own.
It's important to note that not all people go to third world countries with the right intentions. The video I referenced earlier ends with a game of "Who Wants To Be A Volunteer" (A spin off of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire).
Watch it for yourself here: http://mic.com/articles/103788/one-hilarious-video-perfectly-sums-up-a-big-problem-with-western-humanitarianism
Watch it for yourself here: http://mic.com/articles/103788/one-hilarious-video-perfectly-sums-up-a-big-problem-with-western-humanitarianism
I love the section of the article that says, "Well intentioned westerners journey to distant places as volunteers with little regard for culture, history, or the ethical challenges their presence brings into communities that aren't their own." How true that is. Oh but it gets truer (is that a word?) "The problem with voluntourism is it's singular focus on the volunteer's quest for an experience, as opposed to the recipient communities actual needs." Meaning...we send teams over there with this head full of ideas on how to fix everything about the place. I can get rid of malnutrition, human trafficking, corrupted government! Those problems are easy to fix. Give kids some money to buy the food they need. (Nope) Tell the girls that they have worth and shouldn't sell their bodies. (Not gonna work, sunshine) Talk about how amazing our government is, and get them to do things the same way! (Who are you kidding? Our system isn't working either)
None of those ideas are going to change anything in the long run. Sure, you might fill a child's tummy for a few days. You might get a girl to leave the brothel until her parents send her back demanding that it's her duty to care for the family. We need to look past the "I can only do something about this while I'm in their country" mentality. There are organizations we can support that have teams on the ground 24/7 and are actually able to make a lasting impact. People that are invested into the culture and community enough to gain trust and have their opinions and ideas heard. (I'll post some links to the bottom of this post if you feel like God is pulling on your heartstrings to do something.) But I believe it's important to remember this: That place you're going to serve for a few weeks is someone's reality. It's their day to day life. The struggles they face every day you're there are struggles they've been facing for years, and will continue facing for years to come. You may be waltzing through for a few days, but this is their life. When that's on your heart and mind, serving them selflessly becomes a lot easier. When the experience is no longer about you, but about them...you've hit the mark.
I, for one, don't want to be remembered as that girl who just wanted to take selfies with all the kids she met. I want to be known as the girl that brought a smile and the Lord's heart for service and went all out for the whole time I was with those I was serving. (And keep in mind...the mission field is here at home too. Look around you...there is just as much hurt here as there is in other countries. You just can't physically see all of our issues.)
These are some of the organizations I have worked with in the past, and have really enjoyed watching God move through. They each have a piece of my heart, and I hope you'll join me in supporting them as they fight their own specific battles.
Agape International Missions (Fighting against human trafficking) - http://agapewebsite.org
Christian Relief Fund (Helping bring hope and resources to individuals)- http://christianrelieffund.org
Amazon Smile (Choose an outreach, and a % of your purchase goes to it) - https://smile.amazon.com
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Miss Janel, are you homeless?
The other day as I was nannying, one of my kids asked me point blank: "Miss Janel, are you homeless?" I know what you're thinking. Why does he call her MISS Janel?! But it's something their parents wanted, so that's what they do.
Anyways. I was kind of taken aback by the question, and simply responded "No." Well this struck up an interest in his younger sister's mind, because she had no clue what homeless meant. So the next hurdle was trying to figure out how to explain it to her. Before I could get a word in edgewise, the 6 year old boy says "Being homeless is when you do drugs and drink and then you have nowhere to live." Um......
At this point, I have to interject. "Well, that's not entirely true. Sometimes that's the case, but sometimes it's people who come back from war and have nowhere to go. Sometimes it's families that get into fights and it leaves some people without anywhere to go." And so on and so forth. Just trying to throw some other ideas out there for the kids other than "Oh yeah, they're just drunks and druggies."
As soon as I was done giving other explanations for why someone might be homeless, the conversation was over, and we were on to talking about baseball. I'm hoping at least some of my rambling and defensive conversation about the homeless people they're bound to see got through to them.
But the interaction made me think long and hard about what we're teaching our youth. Why is it that so many kids will go through life believing total lies like these? How can it be that we allow young people to believe the worst in people without any backstory? Isn't it ridiculous that WE as adults are the ones teaching our little ones to judge others? I think back to the stories we read in all the classes I student taught in, and how almost all of them came down to simple concepts like the golden rule and not judging a book by it's cover. But when it comes down to it, and all the books are closed, we're modeling the exact opposite.
It comes down to making a change at home first and foremost. But our schools, churches, after school programs, etc can be making a huge impact! Talking about real world issues can make a huge difference in these kids' lives. I understand that learning to read, write, and count are important. In fact, I devoted 4 years of my life learning to do just that. But right here, right now, I vow to do more than that. To instill values and impactful ideas into my future students. To focus not only on academics, but also on things that will give them insight on the outside world.
I hope that someday this will become a popular point of view. That teachers will be able to see past the standardized testing and district requirements, and will fall back in love with their profession. I know that's the desire of many teacher's hearts, but that desire gets lost behind the stress.
Anyways. I was kind of taken aback by the question, and simply responded "No." Well this struck up an interest in his younger sister's mind, because she had no clue what homeless meant. So the next hurdle was trying to figure out how to explain it to her. Before I could get a word in edgewise, the 6 year old boy says "Being homeless is when you do drugs and drink and then you have nowhere to live." Um......
At this point, I have to interject. "Well, that's not entirely true. Sometimes that's the case, but sometimes it's people who come back from war and have nowhere to go. Sometimes it's families that get into fights and it leaves some people without anywhere to go." And so on and so forth. Just trying to throw some other ideas out there for the kids other than "Oh yeah, they're just drunks and druggies."
As soon as I was done giving other explanations for why someone might be homeless, the conversation was over, and we were on to talking about baseball. I'm hoping at least some of my rambling and defensive conversation about the homeless people they're bound to see got through to them.
But the interaction made me think long and hard about what we're teaching our youth. Why is it that so many kids will go through life believing total lies like these? How can it be that we allow young people to believe the worst in people without any backstory? Isn't it ridiculous that WE as adults are the ones teaching our little ones to judge others? I think back to the stories we read in all the classes I student taught in, and how almost all of them came down to simple concepts like the golden rule and not judging a book by it's cover. But when it comes down to it, and all the books are closed, we're modeling the exact opposite.
It comes down to making a change at home first and foremost. But our schools, churches, after school programs, etc can be making a huge impact! Talking about real world issues can make a huge difference in these kids' lives. I understand that learning to read, write, and count are important. In fact, I devoted 4 years of my life learning to do just that. But right here, right now, I vow to do more than that. To instill values and impactful ideas into my future students. To focus not only on academics, but also on things that will give them insight on the outside world.
I hope that someday this will become a popular point of view. That teachers will be able to see past the standardized testing and district requirements, and will fall back in love with their profession. I know that's the desire of many teacher's hearts, but that desire gets lost behind the stress.
Friday, October 24, 2014
Chill Out!!
This past week, I went on a road trip with my mom from Oregon to Southern California. You see, when I graduated and left for Cambodia, I had no choice but to leave my car (and the majority of clothes, shoes, accessories, etc) at my future in-laws house. So we decided I would just have to find time to go up to Oregon after returning to get my things. Being the creative thinker that she is, my mom booked our 6 day girl's week to get the car around 2 home NCU volleyball games.
Being at NCU as an alumni was a completely different experience than being a student. I can understand why people don't want to go back after they're done. Driving into the parking lot for the first time after graduating was a bittersweet feeling. A million different thoughts racing through my head, I sat there in silence. "I can't believe it's actually over." "Look at that girl walking to class. I'm so glad I don't have to go to class anymore. Oh wait....I know her!" "I miss this place. I wish I could go to just one more of Brian Kaelin's classes." And so on and so forth. After a conversation with my mom about how amazing it is to have a degree no one can take away from me, it was time to head to chapel.
Chapel was a totally different experience as well. Not only did I not have an ID to sign in with, but I felt like I barely knew anyone. Walking in to that chapel felt the same as it did on preview day. Unfamiliar (but smiling) faces surrounding me as I walked down to the front row of seats. But once I found people I knew, it was like coming home. Seeing the smiling faces of my Cambodia buddies, friends from classes, and even Doyle; I knew I was home. When I sat in the front row with the rest of the Cambodia team waiting to talk about our experiences, I actually shed a tear. It just felt so right to be sitting there. The worship team (led by my future brother in law, by the way) was on point! Even though I was a Christian going into college, it really feels like my faith blossomed during my time at NCU. That chapel holds fond memories and life altering decisions for me, and it was hard to know this was the only chapel I would be attending this year.
So after the heart wrenching chapel service, we had the better part of the afternoon before it was time to head back to campus for the volleyball game. I had the honor of doing the pre game devotional for the team before their warm-ups, so we got there a bit early. I went downstairs and did the devotional for the team, and couldn't help but feel proud of where I played my 4 years. It wasn't always easy, and it wasn't always fun; But in retrospect I can see that my 4 years at NCU were an honor, and I wouldn't trade those years for anything. As I gave the devotional, I looked around the room and saw so many girls that are passionate about the sport that I loved for so many years. They were so attentive to the devo, and really made me feel confident in the words I was speaking to them. I actually felt like I still belonged there. But then after the devotional, it was back to reality. I went to sit on the stands and watch the girls warm up. I proceeded to watch them kick Oregon Tech in the rear end, which was AMAZING!
Saturday was the day I got to sit on the bench with the team while they took on Southern Oregon University. They lost the game, but they played with so much heart, and it was so much better watching from the bench than from the stands.
The rest of the time was spent road tripping home. There a couple things I need to point out right away: 1) We listened to only about 15 minutes of music the entire way home. 2) Because I think my mom would want me to write this in: I drove the entire way. 3) We had literally nothing planned for the entire way down. We just winged it, and had a blast in the process.
We had the chance to see Beauty And The Beast at a theater in Medford, the play "The Miracle Worker" about Helen Keller, and stop at the Jelly Belly Factory. We also went to a pumpkin patch and picked some pumpkins! But we learned something very important on this trip: NOTHING in Northern California is open on Mondays. Well, that may be an exaggeration, but we stopped at about 4 different places that were closed. Some of them having Monday as the only day they were closed.
But there was something the Lord taught me while we were on the drive. A couple hours into the drive on Sunday, this awful sound started coming from the car. Before we left, we took the car to Oil Can Henry's in Eugene, and got everything checked out and changed, so having a weird sound was really concerning. It went on for about 15 minutes before we even thought to pray about it out loud. I had prayed in my head asking for God's will to be done, but in my heart I really didn't know what that would mean. And honestly, I didn't really want the noise to go away! I just wanted my car to be quiet and run the way it was supposed to. After about an hour, it was time for us to stop and go to the Helen Keller play; a nice distraction from the car troubles. When we got back on the road, the noise was gone! And other than two times of less than one minute, the noise didn't come back again! Through this whole experience, I came to remember that God is so much bigger than anything we can imagine. He can fix even the smallest of problems. But after the whole situation, I came to realize that sometimes my prayers are empty. I bring my requests and needs to the Lord, but I don't always believe that He's listening and caring. I tend to think "this isn't a big enough deal. He has bigger things to worry about." But I forget that I'm his daughter and He loves me. How much more He would do for me than even my earthly parents.
Right after this realization, we passed a billboard that said "Chill Out!!" And it reminded me that nothing is the end of the world, and I just need to surrender things to the Lord.
Being at NCU as an alumni was a completely different experience than being a student. I can understand why people don't want to go back after they're done. Driving into the parking lot for the first time after graduating was a bittersweet feeling. A million different thoughts racing through my head, I sat there in silence. "I can't believe it's actually over." "Look at that girl walking to class. I'm so glad I don't have to go to class anymore. Oh wait....I know her!" "I miss this place. I wish I could go to just one more of Brian Kaelin's classes." And so on and so forth. After a conversation with my mom about how amazing it is to have a degree no one can take away from me, it was time to head to chapel.
Chapel was a totally different experience as well. Not only did I not have an ID to sign in with, but I felt like I barely knew anyone. Walking in to that chapel felt the same as it did on preview day. Unfamiliar (but smiling) faces surrounding me as I walked down to the front row of seats. But once I found people I knew, it was like coming home. Seeing the smiling faces of my Cambodia buddies, friends from classes, and even Doyle; I knew I was home. When I sat in the front row with the rest of the Cambodia team waiting to talk about our experiences, I actually shed a tear. It just felt so right to be sitting there. The worship team (led by my future brother in law, by the way) was on point! Even though I was a Christian going into college, it really feels like my faith blossomed during my time at NCU. That chapel holds fond memories and life altering decisions for me, and it was hard to know this was the only chapel I would be attending this year.
So after the heart wrenching chapel service, we had the better part of the afternoon before it was time to head back to campus for the volleyball game. I had the honor of doing the pre game devotional for the team before their warm-ups, so we got there a bit early. I went downstairs and did the devotional for the team, and couldn't help but feel proud of where I played my 4 years. It wasn't always easy, and it wasn't always fun; But in retrospect I can see that my 4 years at NCU were an honor, and I wouldn't trade those years for anything. As I gave the devotional, I looked around the room and saw so many girls that are passionate about the sport that I loved for so many years. They were so attentive to the devo, and really made me feel confident in the words I was speaking to them. I actually felt like I still belonged there. But then after the devotional, it was back to reality. I went to sit on the stands and watch the girls warm up. I proceeded to watch them kick Oregon Tech in the rear end, which was AMAZING!
Saturday was the day I got to sit on the bench with the team while they took on Southern Oregon University. They lost the game, but they played with so much heart, and it was so much better watching from the bench than from the stands.
The rest of the time was spent road tripping home. There a couple things I need to point out right away: 1) We listened to only about 15 minutes of music the entire way home. 2) Because I think my mom would want me to write this in: I drove the entire way. 3) We had literally nothing planned for the entire way down. We just winged it, and had a blast in the process.
We had the chance to see Beauty And The Beast at a theater in Medford, the play "The Miracle Worker" about Helen Keller, and stop at the Jelly Belly Factory. We also went to a pumpkin patch and picked some pumpkins! But we learned something very important on this trip: NOTHING in Northern California is open on Mondays. Well, that may be an exaggeration, but we stopped at about 4 different places that were closed. Some of them having Monday as the only day they were closed.
But there was something the Lord taught me while we were on the drive. A couple hours into the drive on Sunday, this awful sound started coming from the car. Before we left, we took the car to Oil Can Henry's in Eugene, and got everything checked out and changed, so having a weird sound was really concerning. It went on for about 15 minutes before we even thought to pray about it out loud. I had prayed in my head asking for God's will to be done, but in my heart I really didn't know what that would mean. And honestly, I didn't really want the noise to go away! I just wanted my car to be quiet and run the way it was supposed to. After about an hour, it was time for us to stop and go to the Helen Keller play; a nice distraction from the car troubles. When we got back on the road, the noise was gone! And other than two times of less than one minute, the noise didn't come back again! Through this whole experience, I came to remember that God is so much bigger than anything we can imagine. He can fix even the smallest of problems. But after the whole situation, I came to realize that sometimes my prayers are empty. I bring my requests and needs to the Lord, but I don't always believe that He's listening and caring. I tend to think "this isn't a big enough deal. He has bigger things to worry about." But I forget that I'm his daughter and He loves me. How much more He would do for me than even my earthly parents.
Right after this realization, we passed a billboard that said "Chill Out!!" And it reminded me that nothing is the end of the world, and I just need to surrender things to the Lord.
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Little people, big influence
Since I have been home from school and Cambodia, I have taken a nanny job that will take me through the end of December. I had a lot of speculation from others that I am a college graduate working as a "glorified babysitter" for families I didn't know previously. However, this has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life, and I have to share what I have learned from these little ones in the last 2 months. I have a chance to work with kids and gain first hand knowledge about development without having to meet the standards set before me by the state of California. Isn't that a recent education graduate's dream?!
I have been meaning to write this post for the last few weeks as things happen, because I'm gradually beginning to realize that these 2 kids are changing my heart and life for the better. The things they say and genuine curiosity about the things around them strike me daily.
Just the other day as we were driving home from school, Grady was sad because he hadn't eaten all of his lunch which would result in him not getting a star. (For reference: 3 stars gets a prize, 3 X's gets you a minute of time in your room to think about your actions). While her older brother was whining about not being able to earn a star because he had chosen to talk with his friends instead of eating, Brooklyn leans forward and says to me "Janel, can he have my star? I earn one every day from eating all my lunch. It would make him a lot happier, and I don't really need a prize today." ......WHAT?! A 5 year old girl just suggested that I give her brother the first star towards a prize because she doesn't really need one, and it would make him happy. When was the last time I saw an adult act that way? I don't know, maybe never. What is it about this world that takes that kind of generosity and love out of our hearts?
Then the very next day we were driving through the gate to the house, and Grady asked if we could stop at the gate on our way through. After denying him a few times saying things like "We really don't have time," "We have other things to do," "I'm sure he has things that he's working on, and we don't need to interrupt him" he finally spoke up and exclaimed "We need to stop so we can smile, wave, and say hello! It's important." Seeing that he felt so strongly about it, I pulled into the guest lane and rolled down the windows. Both kids looked into the guard box, and did exactly what Grady had said he wanted to. The guard looked at me confused, seeing that we had a resident sticker in our car. All I could do was raise my eyebrows and say "It was all their idea." He had a huge smile on his face and was waving enthusiastically as he sent us on our way through the gate. I had argued back and forth about the reasons we couldn't stop to do this, but in the end it really made someone's day. What is it about this world that takes that kind of generosity and love out of our hearts?
I wish I could take some responsibility for the amazing things these kids do. But in all honesty, it's their genuine hearts that make them so caring and in tune to others' feelings. I never expected to be so caught off guard by 5 and 6 year old kids.
Now all of that being said, I've seen love like this before: In the eyes of children I met in Cambodia. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised there either; the Khmer adults give of themselves with no expectation of anything in return. It makes perfect sense that their children would act the same. But as I interact with the children I nanny, I can't help but think of those perfect little ones in Asia. The kids that would come onto the campus of Hope Bible Institute to wrestle and play, but would always include other kids who came after them. The kids that are roaming the streets to a point that made me wonder where their parents were that would play games using their shoes and some rocks...the look on their faces making it evident that they were having a blast. The ones in faraway villages that used markers for the first time when we took them out to draw with them. These kids have so much love, and would give the shirt off their back to anyone in need. And that means a lot more when you're talking about someone living in Cambodia...because that shirt might be the only one they own.
I don't know what the point of all this rambling is, but I do know that I see the love and joy of Jesus in little children. With each passing day I understand more and more what the passage in the Bible about having "childlike faith" and "having love like a child" means. Because children have no inhibitions.
As a 21 year old woman, I go to bed praying that the Lord would give me a heart and mind like these precious little ones. I will never be able to forget the gentleness and kindness I have seen from these kiddos.
I have been meaning to write this post for the last few weeks as things happen, because I'm gradually beginning to realize that these 2 kids are changing my heart and life for the better. The things they say and genuine curiosity about the things around them strike me daily.
Just the other day as we were driving home from school, Grady was sad because he hadn't eaten all of his lunch which would result in him not getting a star. (For reference: 3 stars gets a prize, 3 X's gets you a minute of time in your room to think about your actions). While her older brother was whining about not being able to earn a star because he had chosen to talk with his friends instead of eating, Brooklyn leans forward and says to me "Janel, can he have my star? I earn one every day from eating all my lunch. It would make him a lot happier, and I don't really need a prize today." ......WHAT?! A 5 year old girl just suggested that I give her brother the first star towards a prize because she doesn't really need one, and it would make him happy. When was the last time I saw an adult act that way? I don't know, maybe never. What is it about this world that takes that kind of generosity and love out of our hearts?
Then the very next day we were driving through the gate to the house, and Grady asked if we could stop at the gate on our way through. After denying him a few times saying things like "We really don't have time," "We have other things to do," "I'm sure he has things that he's working on, and we don't need to interrupt him" he finally spoke up and exclaimed "We need to stop so we can smile, wave, and say hello! It's important." Seeing that he felt so strongly about it, I pulled into the guest lane and rolled down the windows. Both kids looked into the guard box, and did exactly what Grady had said he wanted to. The guard looked at me confused, seeing that we had a resident sticker in our car. All I could do was raise my eyebrows and say "It was all their idea." He had a huge smile on his face and was waving enthusiastically as he sent us on our way through the gate. I had argued back and forth about the reasons we couldn't stop to do this, but in the end it really made someone's day. What is it about this world that takes that kind of generosity and love out of our hearts?
I wish I could take some responsibility for the amazing things these kids do. But in all honesty, it's their genuine hearts that make them so caring and in tune to others' feelings. I never expected to be so caught off guard by 5 and 6 year old kids.
Now all of that being said, I've seen love like this before: In the eyes of children I met in Cambodia. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised there either; the Khmer adults give of themselves with no expectation of anything in return. It makes perfect sense that their children would act the same. But as I interact with the children I nanny, I can't help but think of those perfect little ones in Asia. The kids that would come onto the campus of Hope Bible Institute to wrestle and play, but would always include other kids who came after them. The kids that are roaming the streets to a point that made me wonder where their parents were that would play games using their shoes and some rocks...the look on their faces making it evident that they were having a blast. The ones in faraway villages that used markers for the first time when we took them out to draw with them. These kids have so much love, and would give the shirt off their back to anyone in need. And that means a lot more when you're talking about someone living in Cambodia...because that shirt might be the only one they own.
I don't know what the point of all this rambling is, but I do know that I see the love and joy of Jesus in little children. With each passing day I understand more and more what the passage in the Bible about having "childlike faith" and "having love like a child" means. Because children have no inhibitions.
As a 21 year old woman, I go to bed praying that the Lord would give me a heart and mind like these precious little ones. I will never be able to forget the gentleness and kindness I have seen from these kiddos.
Sunday, September 14, 2014
Feeling God's Presence
Yesterday, I was able to go to Oceanside to spend the day with my grandparents before going to see "Catch Me If You Can" at the Moonlight Amphitheater with them and Lars. We had a great day, and a fantastic double date! But the really amazing thing happened on my way home.
I didn't get started on the road home until about 11pm, so I was fading fast when I first took off. If you know me at all, you know that I am usually in bed by 9; so being awake and operating a vehicle at 11 was potentially very dangerous. I found myself with 2 options: Grab some energy drinks and wire myself for the ride home or find a way to occupy my mind. In respect of my body, I chose the latter.
Instead of turning on the radio, I decided to have a conversation with the Lord during the 30 minute commute back home. I know my prayer life could use some work and thought, "What better time to improve my relationship with the King than right now?!" So I started praying.
Oh my goodness; that 30 minutes was one of the most powerful times I can remember. Being in a position where I was just in conversation with my creator. Lifting requests, praises, and thanksgiving to Him and just sitting in silence at times. I'm sure the guard at the Border Patrol Station thought I was insane as I drove through. Talking to myself (as it appeared), tears streaming down my face, and trying to pass through like I was totally okay. But I couldn't help myself! As I spent time with the Lord, I was moved to tears. That sounds incredibly cheesy, and I recognize that. But it's the truth. I felt closer to Him than I had felt in a very long time, and my emotions got the best of me.
All this to say: spend time in prayer today. Let the Lord hear your thoughts, needs, anxieties, requests, and praises!
PS - I specifically prayed for certain people about specific things, and today my prayers were answered! I had a conversation with Lars today about something I prayed for yesterday. What he said about the situation was WORD FOR WORD what I prayed for! God is so good.
I didn't get started on the road home until about 11pm, so I was fading fast when I first took off. If you know me at all, you know that I am usually in bed by 9; so being awake and operating a vehicle at 11 was potentially very dangerous. I found myself with 2 options: Grab some energy drinks and wire myself for the ride home or find a way to occupy my mind. In respect of my body, I chose the latter.
Instead of turning on the radio, I decided to have a conversation with the Lord during the 30 minute commute back home. I know my prayer life could use some work and thought, "What better time to improve my relationship with the King than right now?!" So I started praying.
Oh my goodness; that 30 minutes was one of the most powerful times I can remember. Being in a position where I was just in conversation with my creator. Lifting requests, praises, and thanksgiving to Him and just sitting in silence at times. I'm sure the guard at the Border Patrol Station thought I was insane as I drove through. Talking to myself (as it appeared), tears streaming down my face, and trying to pass through like I was totally okay. But I couldn't help myself! As I spent time with the Lord, I was moved to tears. That sounds incredibly cheesy, and I recognize that. But it's the truth. I felt closer to Him than I had felt in a very long time, and my emotions got the best of me.
All this to say: spend time in prayer today. Let the Lord hear your thoughts, needs, anxieties, requests, and praises!
PS - I specifically prayed for certain people about specific things, and today my prayers were answered! I had a conversation with Lars today about something I prayed for yesterday. What he said about the situation was WORD FOR WORD what I prayed for! God is so good.
Friday, June 20, 2014
The Pak
Wow...it has been such a long time since I wrote!
But, of course, we're taking some time to enjoy the rest of Phnom Penh as well!
Welcome back to your virtual your through Cambodia. I'll be your guide!
This past week has been an absolute whirlwind. Nicole and I were feeling called back to Phnom Penh, and decided to come back here for our last week in Cambodia. We had the chance to go back out to Svay Pak and work with Agape International Missions for a second time. But let me back up and explain!
We spent 2 weeks in Battambang at Hope Bible Institute teaching English and doing some other side jobs. It was such a great experience. Being in Cambodia without a huge team is such a different experience! There was another American at HBI while we were there named Jeff, and we had the honor of hanging out with him quite a bit. Breakfasts, bike rides, and meal time chats on campus were awesome!
We spent our days in Battambang teaching English to 6 amazing students, and working on various side jobs as well. We sorted through 92 boxes of books while we were there. What an experience! Looking through and deciding what should go where and how everything was going to stay sorted. But even in the small things, God likes to teach us lessons right? Let me tell you what Nicole and I learned through the experience of sorting 92 boxes of books.
Every time Nicole and I went into the room, our students would come in and say "Can we help you?" And of course, we were stubborn and kept saying no. We wanted to complete the project for them and bless them through the process. Our first day sorting books, we got 4 boxes done in an hour, and we felt pretty good about that! That's a lot of books. Well about a week into the process, we had finished about 1/3 of the boxes. This time, the students came in and practically insisted that they help us. Yeah, well I wish we had let them do that sooner. We finished everything in an hour. Everything. Like 50 boxes. So here's what we learned: Don't be stubborn and proud. Let others help you, that doesn't make you weak! Here's my application: I need to let other people help me every once in a while. I can't do it on my own. God put other people on this earth, because He knew one person couldn't do everything all on their own. There are people that are more skilled than I am. There are people that have bigger servants hearts than me. Why wouldn't I utilize that?!
Ming Bopah cooked our meals every day. Yum!! (But don't ask me what we ate, because I honestly have no clue)
This is Tiger. He loves Nicole and I and would sit at our feet during every meal.
These are the boxes we were sorting through.
Before one of our morning rides to breakfast :)
Anyways. Nicole and I really did feel called to come back to Phnom Penh, so we returned here last weekend and have been working hard ever since! We've been out in Svay Pak working on a pretty cool project. AIM sells a lot of merchandise (that can be found on agapewebsite.org) and bracelets are one of tier specialities. They're amazing! But the tables they're made on could use some work. So Nicole and I took to it, and revamped them! What better way to explain to you than to show you?
After a few days, I wised up and started blocking my bare skin from flying particles. (You can see the cut up t-shirts covering my legs)
Well that's all for now! Time to go get a massage and be tourists today! :)
Love you all, and getting excited to share my stories with all of you when I get home.
Thank you for all your prayers during this process. I've been so blessed to be here again.
Xo
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