Miss Janel, are you homeless?

The other day as I was nannying, one of my kids asked me point blank: "Miss Janel, are you homeless?" I know what you're thinking. Why does he call her MISS Janel?! But it's something their parents wanted, so that's what they do.

Anyways. I was kind of taken aback by the question, and simply responded "No." Well this struck up an interest in his younger sister's mind, because she had no clue what homeless meant. So the next hurdle was trying to figure out how to explain it to her. Before I could get a word in edgewise, the 6 year old boy says "Being homeless is when you do drugs and drink and then you have nowhere to live." Um......

At this point, I have to interject. "Well, that's not entirely true. Sometimes that's the case, but sometimes it's people who come back from war and have nowhere to go. Sometimes it's families that get into fights and it leaves some people without anywhere to go." And so on and so forth. Just trying to throw some other ideas out there for the kids other than "Oh yeah, they're just drunks and druggies."

As soon as I was done giving other explanations for why someone might be homeless, the conversation was over, and we were on to talking about baseball. I'm hoping at least some of my rambling and defensive conversation about the homeless people they're bound to see got through to them.

But the interaction made me think long and hard about what we're teaching our youth. Why is it that so many kids will go through life believing total lies like these? How can it be that we allow young people to believe the worst in people without any backstory? Isn't it ridiculous that WE as adults are the ones teaching our little ones to judge others? I think back to the stories we read in all the classes I student taught in, and how almost all of them came down to simple concepts like the golden rule and not judging a book by it's cover. But when it comes down to it, and all the books are closed, we're modeling the exact opposite.

It comes down to making a change at home first and foremost. But our schools, churches, after school programs, etc can be making a huge impact! Talking about real world issues can make a huge difference in these kids' lives. I understand that learning to read, write, and count are important. In fact, I devoted 4 years of my life learning to do just that. But right here, right now, I vow to do more than that. To instill values and impactful ideas into my future students. To focus not only on academics, but also on things that will give them insight on the outside world.

I hope that someday this will become a popular point of view. That teachers will be able to see past the standardized testing and district requirements, and will fall back in love with their profession. I know that's the desire of many teacher's hearts, but that desire gets lost behind the stress.

Chill Out!!

This past week, I went on a road trip with my mom from Oregon to Southern California. You see, when I graduated and left for Cambodia, I had no choice but to leave my car (and the majority of clothes, shoes, accessories, etc) at my future in-laws house. So we decided I would just have to find time to go up to Oregon after returning to get my things. Being the creative thinker that she is, my mom booked our 6 day girl's week to get the car around 2 home NCU volleyball games.

Being at NCU as an alumni was a completely different experience than being a student. I can understand why people don't want to go back after they're done. Driving into the parking lot for the first time after graduating was a bittersweet feeling. A million different thoughts racing through my head, I sat there in silence. "I can't believe it's actually over." "Look at that girl walking to class. I'm so glad I don't have to go to class anymore. Oh wait....I know her!" "I miss this place. I wish I could go to just one more of Brian Kaelin's classes." And so on and so forth. After a conversation with my mom about how amazing it is to have a degree no one can take away from me, it was time to head to chapel.

Chapel was a totally different experience as well. Not only did I not have an ID to sign in with, but I felt like I barely knew anyone. Walking in to that chapel felt the same as it did on preview day. Unfamiliar (but smiling) faces surrounding me as I walked down to the front row of seats. But once I found people I knew, it was like coming home. Seeing the smiling faces of my Cambodia buddies, friends from classes, and even Doyle; I knew I was home. When I sat in the front row with the rest of the Cambodia team waiting to talk about our experiences, I actually shed a tear. It just felt so right to be sitting there. The worship team (led by my future brother in law, by the way) was on point! Even though I was a Christian going into college, it really feels like my faith blossomed during my time at NCU. That chapel holds fond memories and life altering decisions for me, and it was hard to know this was the only chapel I would be attending this year.

So after the heart wrenching chapel service, we had the better part of the afternoon before it was time to head back to campus for the volleyball game. I had the honor of doing the pre game devotional for the team before their warm-ups, so we got there a bit early. I went downstairs and did the devotional for the team, and couldn't help but feel proud of where I played my 4 years. It wasn't always easy, and it wasn't always fun; But in retrospect I can see that my 4 years at NCU were an honor, and I wouldn't trade those years for anything. As I gave the devotional, I looked around the room and saw so many girls that are passionate about the sport that I loved for so many years. They were so attentive to the devo, and really made me feel confident in the words I was speaking to them. I actually felt like I still belonged there. But then after the devotional, it was back to reality. I went to sit on the stands and watch the girls warm up. I proceeded to watch them kick Oregon Tech in the rear end, which was AMAZING!

Saturday was the day I got to sit on the bench with the team while they took on Southern Oregon University. They lost the game, but they played with so much heart, and it was so much better watching from the bench than from the stands.

The rest of the time was spent road tripping home. There a couple things I need to point out right away: 1) We listened to only about 15 minutes of music the entire way home. 2) Because I think my mom would want me to write this in: I drove the entire way. 3) We had literally nothing planned for the entire way down. We just winged it, and had a blast in the process.

We had the chance to see Beauty And The Beast at a theater in Medford, the play "The Miracle Worker" about Helen Keller, and stop at the Jelly Belly Factory. We also went to a pumpkin patch and picked some pumpkins! But we learned something very important on this trip: NOTHING in Northern California is open on Mondays. Well, that may be an exaggeration, but we stopped at about 4 different places that were closed. Some of them having Monday as the only day they were closed.

But there was something the Lord taught me while we were on the drive. A couple hours into the drive on Sunday, this awful sound started coming from the car. Before we left, we took the car to Oil Can Henry's in Eugene, and got everything checked out and changed, so having a weird sound was really concerning. It went on for about 15 minutes before we even thought to pray about it out loud. I had prayed in my head asking for God's will to be done, but in my heart I really didn't know what that would mean. And honestly, I didn't really want the noise to go away! I just wanted my car to be quiet and run the way it was supposed to. After about an hour, it was time for us to stop and go to the Helen Keller play; a nice distraction from the car troubles. When we got back on the road, the noise was gone! And other than two times of less than one minute, the noise didn't come back again! Through this whole experience, I came to remember that God is so much bigger than anything we can imagine. He can fix even the smallest of problems. But after the whole situation, I came to realize that sometimes my prayers are empty. I bring my requests and needs to the Lord, but I don't always believe that He's listening and caring. I tend to think "this isn't a big enough deal. He has bigger things to worry about." But I forget that I'm his daughter and He loves me. How much more He would do for me than even my earthly parents.

Right after this realization, we passed a billboard that said "Chill Out!!" And it reminded me that nothing is the end of the world, and I just need to surrender things to the Lord.

Little people, big influence

Since I have been home from school and Cambodia, I have taken a nanny job that will take me through the end of December. I had a lot of speculation from others that I am a college graduate working as a "glorified babysitter" for families I didn't know previously. However, this has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life, and I have to share what I have learned from these little ones in the last 2 months. I have a chance to work with kids and gain first hand knowledge about development without having to meet the standards set before me by the state of California. Isn't that a recent education graduate's dream?!

I have been meaning to write this post for the last few weeks as things happen, because I'm gradually beginning to realize that these 2 kids are changing my heart and life for the better. The things they say  and genuine curiosity about the things around them strike me daily.

Just the other day as we were driving home from school, Grady was sad because he hadn't eaten all of his lunch which would result in him not getting a star. (For reference: 3 stars gets a prize, 3 X's gets you a minute of time in your room to think about your actions). While her older brother was whining about not being able to earn a star because he had chosen to talk with his friends instead of eating, Brooklyn leans forward and says to me "Janel, can he have my star? I earn one every day from eating all my lunch. It would make him a lot happier, and I don't really need a prize today." ......WHAT?! A 5 year old girl just suggested that I give her brother the first star towards a prize because she doesn't really need one, and it would make him happy. When was the last time I saw an adult act that way? I don't know, maybe never. What is it about this world that takes that kind of generosity and love out of our hearts?

Then the very next day we were driving through the gate to the house, and Grady asked if we could stop at the gate on our way through. After denying him a few times saying things like "We really don't have time," "We have other things to do," "I'm sure he has things that he's working on, and we don't need to interrupt him" he finally spoke up and exclaimed "We need to stop so we can smile, wave, and say hello! It's important." Seeing that he felt so strongly about it, I pulled into the guest lane and rolled down the windows. Both kids looked into the guard box, and did exactly what Grady had said he wanted to. The guard looked at me confused, seeing that we had a resident sticker in our car. All I could do was raise my eyebrows and say "It was all their idea." He had a huge smile on his face and was waving enthusiastically as he sent us on our way through the gate. I had argued back and forth about the reasons we couldn't stop to do this, but in the end it really made someone's day. What is it about this world that takes that kind of generosity and love out of our hearts?

I wish I could take some responsibility for the amazing things these kids do. But in all honesty, it's their genuine hearts that make them so caring and in tune to others' feelings. I never expected to be so caught off guard by 5 and 6 year old kids.

Now all of that being said, I've seen love like this before: In the eyes of children I met in Cambodia. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised there either; the Khmer adults give of themselves with no expectation of anything in return. It makes perfect sense that their children would act the same. But as I interact with the children I nanny, I can't help but think of those perfect little ones in Asia. The kids that would come onto the campus of Hope Bible Institute to wrestle and play, but would always include other kids who came after them. The kids that are roaming the streets to a point that made me wonder where their parents were that would play games using their shoes and some rocks...the look on their faces making it evident that they were having a blast. The ones in faraway villages that used markers for the first time when we took them out to draw with them.  These kids have so much love, and would give the shirt off their back to anyone in need. And that means a lot more when you're talking about someone living in Cambodia...because that shirt might be the only one they own.

I don't know what the point of all this rambling is, but I do know that I see the love and joy of Jesus in little children. With each passing day I understand more and more what the passage in the Bible about having "childlike faith" and "having love like a child" means. Because children have no inhibitions.

As a 21 year old woman, I go to bed praying that the Lord would give me a heart and mind like these precious little ones. I will never be able to forget the gentleness and kindness I have seen from these kiddos.