In case of emergency...

I'm a ministry wife. With that title comes great responsibility that I never thought about before becoming one. Lars works with the teens at our church, and I thought that's pretty much what it was - LARS working with the teens at our church. But, as it turns out, when your husband is in the ministry so are you. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, though. I get to be in the teen class and listen to my amazingly talented husband teach them. I also get to talk to the kids about their lives, attend sporting events, have dinner with the families, and do my best to connect with the girls in the group on a deeper level.

As any ministry wife could tell you, it's hard. It's exhausting to have to be "on" every Sunday just because your husband is the youth pastor. But even more than that, it's kind of stressful. I mean, the girls in the group look to me for advice and example. To prepare for this kind of work day is a little hectic when I have my own job throughout the week. Lars and I talk a lot about what my role should look like and how I can take it on in different ways, but we're still far from figuring it all out.

But even more than the stress the ministry causes me, it causes stress for him too. I can only imagine what he feels; I have 23 children in my classroom and I lose sleep over their learning, their home lives, and their wellbeing. I cannot imagine being responsible for 20+ souls of teens. My husband's job is basically to help these kids find and treasure Jesus. And on top of all of that he needs to keep learning new things so he can be better and better at his job...which means he starts a Masters program! And then on top of THAT, he attends conferences where he can listen to keynoters and network with other ministry workers around the country. It's exhausting just to listen about his day.

Enter Children's Pastors Conference 2016. Speaker: Albert Tate.

"In case of emergency, an airbag will drop from the compartment above you. Please put your mask on first before assisting others."

We all know the spiel..if you've ever flown, you know that you hear that message before every flight. It doesn't take much thought to realize why this is such sound advice. If I can't breath, I'm not going to be much help to the person next to me...but do we often think about this when it comes to our spiritual walks?

Albert Tate was talking about this in terms of people in ministry. Can you be effective in showing others the light of Jesus if you've lost it yourself? Can you give meaningful devotionals if you never read the Bible for your own personal walk? Can you honestly tell me that you can show up every Sunday morning and teach if you aren't walking day in and day out with the Lord? You can't.

The whole 45 minutes the man was talking, I was taking notes like crazy. One of my biggest responsibilities as a ministry wife is taking care of my husband. This is more than just making dinner and keeping the house clean. I have the responsibility to keep my husband spiritually fed. I know what you're thinking: "It's his job to be the spiritual leader of our household." I agree with you. And he is! But sometimes I need to step in and (lovingly) say to my husband: "We're off track and we need to do something differently. We need to read our Bibles together and talk about Jesus more regularly." I don't know about the other wives reading this, but that is not something that comes naturally to me. We have so much going on in our every day lives, I don't ever have time to stop and think about encouraging my husband to lead me more. But I have to. I need to get my oxygen supply on my face and then look my husband in the eye and help him put his on. If I am going to be the wife God has called me to be, I need to give Lars that support. I have to make time in our day to make these things happen, otherwise he is going to sizzle out of his ministry because he will slowly but surely run out of oxygen.

Being a ministry wife is so much more than stressing about the example I set for the teens at our church. It means that I am held to a higher standard even with my husband. I'm still learning how to support him better and make sure he has the air he needs. But I encourage you wives to join me on the journey even if you're not a ministry wife. Our men have so much to do, and sometimes the last thing they have energy for is leading us. We need to ensure they have what they need to be the men they've been called to be. And for the men reading this, I encourage you to think about this as well. You need YOUR air supply before leading your wives and children to Christ. You cannot effectively complete the arduous task set before you if you aren't linked up with Him 24/7. Ask your wife for help with this if you need to; that's what we're here for.